The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta catches 2 balls for 11 yards and a nice hug from a referee.
- LaPorta gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Iowa's biggest rival.
90%POTENCY
-14.6PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Texans locker room
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
LaPorta drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.