The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
- LaPorta is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.
75%POTENCY
-9.3PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
LaPorta, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.