The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Theo Johnson
Theo Johnson · NYG · TE
“Johnson lines up as a tackle on 61% of snaps. A beautiful new career for him.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Johnson's week
- Johnson will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
- Ref: "Number Johnson, that's a flag." Johnson: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
81%POTENCY
-14.7PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Johnson's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Malik Nabers
- Colston Loveland
- Cam Skattebo
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Theo Johnson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Theo Johnson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Theo Johnson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.