The Late Scratch Hex of Theo Johnson
Theo Johnson · NYG · TE
“Johnson sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Johnson's week
- Johnson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Penn State's biggest rival.
- Johnson's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
90%POTENCY
-13.7PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A used challenge flag
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Johnson's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Malik Nabers
- Colston Loveland
- Cam Skattebo
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Theo Johnson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Theo Johnson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Theo Johnson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.