The Garbage-Time Hex of Washington Commanders
Washington Commanders defense
“The Commanders defense scores a tackle-for-loss. In the other team's highlight reel.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Washington Commanders defense's week
- The Commanders defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.
- The Commanders defense is "bend, don't break" and then breaks every single time.
74%POTENCY
-18.9PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A single Buccaneers jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Commanders's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jayden Daniels
- Stefon Diggs
- Rachaad White
- Chig Okonkwo
- Antonio Williams
- Devin Neal
- Wendell Smallwood
- Jaden Bradley
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse Washington Commanders defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Washington Commanders defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Washington Commanders defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.