The Inch-Short Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- Bachman tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
- Bachman gets shadowed by a corner who just signed an extension and needs to prove it.
86%POTENCY
-14.6PTS DRAINED
Group Chat FuneralVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Bachman drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
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- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.