The Shank Hex of Andre Szmyt
Andre Szmyt · CLE · K
“Szmyt's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Szmyt's week
- The crowd chants "WIDE LEFT" for Szmyt. Szmyt does not ignore it. Neither does the ball.
- Szmyt will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
73%POTENCY
-15.4PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Szmyt drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Quinshon Judkins
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Brandon Aubrey
- KC Concepcion Jr.
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Dylan Sampson
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Denzel Boston
FAQ
How do I curse Andre Szmyt in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Andre Szmyt is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Andre Szmyt actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.