The Phantom Flag Hex of Andre Szmyt
Andre Szmyt · CLE · K
“Szmyt hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Szmyt's week
- Szmyt finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- The crowd chants "WIDE LEFT" for Szmyt. Szmyt does not ignore it. Neither does the ball.
76%POTENCY
-19.9PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
Incantation
Eye of Cardinals, tongue of ref,
Bring Browns down to grief,
Szmyt scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Quinshon Judkins
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Brandon Aubrey
- KC Concepcion Jr.
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Dylan Sampson
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Denzel Boston
FAQ
How do I curse Andre Szmyt in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Andre Szmyt is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Andre Szmyt actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.