The Blown Coverage Hex of Arizona Cardinals
Arizona Cardinals defense
“The Cardinals defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Arizona Cardinals defense's week
- The Cardinals defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.
- The Cardinals defense gets a pick-six called back for a penalty on... the defense. In the end zone.
90%POTENCY
-19.6PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A single Patriots jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Cardinals's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Trey McBride
- Tyler Allgeier
- Carson Beck
- Chad Ryland
- Tavien Feaster
- Simi Fehoko
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
- Indianapolis Colts
- Seattle Seahawks
FAQ
How do I curse Arizona Cardinals defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Arizona Cardinals defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Arizona Cardinals defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.