The Phantom Flag Hex of Arizona Cardinals
Arizona Cardinals defense
“The Cardinals defense scores a tackle-for-loss. In the other team's highlight reel.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Arizona Cardinals defense's week
- The Cardinals defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
- The Cardinals will give up a touchdown to a tight end who was a high school wrestler. Net -2 points.
79%POTENCY
-19PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Cardinals drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Trey McBride
- Tyler Allgeier
- Carson Beck
- Chad Ryland
- Tavien Feaster
- Simi Fehoko
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
- Indianapolis Colts
- Seattle Seahawks
FAQ
How do I curse Arizona Cardinals defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Arizona Cardinals defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Arizona Cardinals defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.