The Late Scratch Hex of Arizona Cardinals
Arizona Cardinals defense
“The Cardinals defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Arizona Cardinals defense's week
- The Cardinals defense is "bend, don't break" and then breaks every single time.
- The Cardinals defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.
72%POTENCY
-16.6PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A used challenge flag
Incantation
Eye of Saints, tongue of ref,
Bring Cardinals down to grief,
Cardinals scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Trey McBride
- Tyler Allgeier
- Carson Beck
- Chad Ryland
- Tavien Feaster
- Simi Fehoko
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
- Indianapolis Colts
- Seattle Seahawks
FAQ
How do I curse Arizona Cardinals defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Arizona Cardinals defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Arizona Cardinals defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.