The Garbage-Time Hex of Arizona Cardinals
Arizona Cardinals defense
“The Cardinals defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Arizona Cardinals defense's week
- The Cardinals defense generates 0 sacks, 0 turnovers and a lot of vibes.
- The Cardinals defense lets a 4th-and-17 conversion happen. Then another. Then a trick play.
80%POTENCY
-9.2PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
Cardinals, Cardinals, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Trey McBride
- Tyler Allgeier
- Carson Beck
- Chad Ryland
- Tavien Feaster
- Simi Fehoko
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
- Indianapolis Colts
- Seattle Seahawks
FAQ
How do I curse Arizona Cardinals defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Arizona Cardinals defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Arizona Cardinals defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.