The Late Scratch Hex of Arizona Cardinals
Arizona Cardinals defense
“The Cardinals defense scores a tackle-for-loss. In the other team's highlight reel.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Arizona Cardinals defense's week
- The Cardinals defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
- The Cardinals will give up a touchdown to a tight end who was a high school wrestler. Net -2 points.
86%POTENCY
-18.4PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Cardinals's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Trey McBride
- Tyler Allgeier
- Carson Beck
- Chad Ryland
- Tavien Feaster
- Simi Fehoko
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
- Indianapolis Colts
- Seattle Seahawks
FAQ
How do I curse Arizona Cardinals defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Arizona Cardinals defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Arizona Cardinals defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.