The Phantom Flag Hex of Arizona Cardinals
Arizona Cardinals defense
“The Cardinals defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Arizona Cardinals defense's week
- The Cardinals defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.
- The Cardinals will give up a touchdown to a tight end who was a high school wrestler. Net -2 points.
72%POTENCY
-11PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
Cardinals, Cardinals, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Trey McBride
- Tyler Allgeier
- Carson Beck
- Chad Ryland
- Tavien Feaster
- Simi Fehoko
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
- Indianapolis Colts
- Seattle Seahawks
FAQ
How do I curse Arizona Cardinals defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Arizona Cardinals defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Arizona Cardinals defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.