The Blown Coverage Hex of Arizona Cardinals
Arizona Cardinals defense
“The Cardinals defense lets a 4th-and-17 conversion happen. Then another. Then a trick play.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Arizona Cardinals defense's week
- The Cardinals defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.
- The Cardinals defense generates 0 sacks, 0 turnovers and a lot of vibes.
81%POTENCY
-15.6PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Cardinals drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Trey McBride
- Tyler Allgeier
- Carson Beck
- Chad Ryland
- Tavien Feaster
- Simi Fehoko
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
- Indianapolis Colts
- Seattle Seahawks
FAQ
How do I curse Arizona Cardinals defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Arizona Cardinals defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Arizona Cardinals defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.