The Snap Count Hex of Arizona Cardinals
Arizona Cardinals defense
“The Cardinals defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Arizona Cardinals defense's week
- The Cardinals defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.
- The Cardinals defense scores a tackle-for-loss. In the other team's highlight reel.
87%POTENCY
-9.8PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Cardinals drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Tyler Allgeier
- Carson Beck
- Chad Ryland
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- Simi Fehoko
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- Indianapolis Colts
- Seattle Seahawks
FAQ
How do I curse Arizona Cardinals defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Arizona Cardinals defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Arizona Cardinals defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.