The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of Ashton Jeanty
Ashton Jeanty · LV · RB
“Jeanty finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Jeanty's week
- Jeanty is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Jeanty's stadium. Only over Jeanty.
79%POTENCY
-11.5PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Jeanty, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
- Josh Jacobs
FAQ
How do I curse Ashton Jeanty in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ashton Jeanty is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ashton Jeanty actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.