The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of Ben VanSumeren
Ben VanSumeren · KC · RB
“VanSumeren finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins VanSumeren's week
- VanSumeren gets the ball 4 times inside the 10. The pylon, however, is fine.
- VanSumeren tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
80%POTENCY
-12.6PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single tear from a Ravens fan
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
VanSumeren, VanSumeren, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Ben VanSumeren in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ben VanSumeren is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ben VanSumeren actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.