The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of Ben VanSumeren
Ben VanSumeren · KC · RB
“VanSumeren rushes 22 times for 51 yards. A heroic, beautiful, useless day.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins VanSumeren's week
- VanSumeren gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
- The team goes up 21 early and VanSumeren gets a pat on the head and 4 snaps.
81%POTENCY
-12.3PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
VanSumeren drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
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- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Ben VanSumeren in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ben VanSumeren is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ben VanSumeren actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.