The Garbage-Time Hex of Ben VanSumeren
Ben VanSumeren · KC · RB
“VanSumeren gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Michigan State's biggest rival.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins VanSumeren's week
- A mysterious flag erases VanSumeren's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- The broadcast shows VanSumeren on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
76%POTENCY
-18PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
VanSumeren drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Ben VanSumeren in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ben VanSumeren is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ben VanSumeren actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.