The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of Ben VanSumeren
Ben VanSumeren · KC · RB
“VanSumeren finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins VanSumeren's week
- VanSumeren gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Michigan State's biggest rival.
- VanSumeren rushes 22 times for 51 yards. A heroic, beautiful, useless day.
91%POTENCY
-18.2PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
Eye of Chiefs, tongue of ref,
Bring Chiefs down to grief,
VanSumeren scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Ben VanSumeren in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ben VanSumeren is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ben VanSumeren actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.