The Goal-Line Vulture Hex of Ben VanSumeren
Ben VanSumeren · KC · RB
“VanSumeren gets stuffed so hard the broadcast shows a replay in slow motion, from three angles.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins VanSumeren's week
- VanSumeren tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
- VanSumeren goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.
92%POTENCY
-19.8PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A single tear from a Lions fan
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
VanSumeren drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
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FAQ
How do I curse Ben VanSumeren in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ben VanSumeren is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ben VanSumeren actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.