The Fumble Hex of Ben VanSumeren
Ben VanSumeren · KC · RB
“VanSumeren is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins VanSumeren's week
- VanSumeren gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
- A mysterious flag erases VanSumeren's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
84%POTENCY
-11.3PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
VanSumeren drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
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FAQ
How do I curse Ben VanSumeren in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ben VanSumeren is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ben VanSumeren actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.