The Garbage-Time Hex of Braelon Allen
Braelon Allen · NYJ · RB
“Coach says Allen is "fresh" and sits him for the entire second half of a close game.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Wisconsin's biggest rival.
- Allen will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
76%POTENCY
-19.7PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Allen, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
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FAQ
How do I curse Braelon Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Braelon Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Braelon Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.