The Garbage-Time Hex of Braelon Allen
Braelon Allen · NYJ · RB
“Allen will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Wisconsin's biggest rival.
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Allen's stadium. Only over Allen.
75%POTENCY
-14.9PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- A single tear from a Chargers fan
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Buccaneers locker room
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Allen's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
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FAQ
How do I curse Braelon Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Braelon Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Braelon Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.