The Garbage-Time Hex of Braelon Allen
Braelon Allen · NYJ · RB
“A mysterious flag erases Allen's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Wisconsin's biggest rival.
- Ref: "Number Allen, that's a flag." Allen: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
89%POTENCY
-16.8PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Allen drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Braelon Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Braelon Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Braelon Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.