The Shank Hex of Brandon Aubrey
Brandon Aubrey · DAL · K
“Aubrey kicks a perfect ball into the end zone... and it is a kickoff. For the other team.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Aubrey's week
- The crowd chants "WIDE LEFT" for Aubrey. Aubrey does not ignore it. Neither does the ball.
- Ref: "Number Aubrey, that's a flag." Aubrey: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
80%POTENCY
-10.3PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Aubrey drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Jake Ferguson
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Brandon Aubrey in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brandon Aubrey is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brandon Aubrey actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.