The Late Scratch Hex of Brandon Aubrey
Brandon Aubrey · DAL · K
“Aubrey finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Aubrey's week
- Aubrey will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
- Aubrey warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.
85%POTENCY
-9.3PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Texans locker room
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
Incantation
Eye of Panthers, tongue of ref,
Bring Cowboys down to grief,
Aubrey scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Jake Ferguson
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Brandon Aubrey in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brandon Aubrey is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brandon Aubrey actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.