The Late Scratch Hex of Brandon Aubrey
Brandon Aubrey · DAL · K
“Aubrey attempts a field goal, the holder pulls it back, and gets sacked at the 12. Points: 0. Dignity: also 0.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Aubrey's week
- Aubrey's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
- Aubrey gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
90%POTENCY
-17.6PTS DRAINED
Group Chat FuneralVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Aubrey drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Jake Ferguson
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Brandon Aubrey in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brandon Aubrey is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brandon Aubrey actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.