The Doink Hex of Brandon Aubrey
Brandon Aubrey · DAL · K
“The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Aubrey is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Aubrey's week
- Aubrey gets 2 attempts, both blocked by someone who is not even tall.
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Aubrey's stadium. Only over Aubrey.
90%POTENCY
-14.9PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Aubrey's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Jake Ferguson
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Brandon Aubrey in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brandon Aubrey is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brandon Aubrey actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.