The Hamstring Hex of Brandon Aubrey
Brandon Aubrey · DAL · K
“Aubrey is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Aubrey's week
- Aubrey warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.
- Aubrey finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
92%POTENCY
-18.7PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Aubrey's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Jake Ferguson
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Brandon Aubrey in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brandon Aubrey is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brandon Aubrey actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.