The Upright Hex of Brandon Aubrey
Brandon Aubrey · DAL · K
“Aubrey is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Aubrey's week
- Aubrey makes a 58-yarder... in pregame. Not counted.
- The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Aubrey is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.
90%POTENCY
-16.8PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- A single sock, mismatched, from the 49ers locker room
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Aubrey drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Jake Ferguson
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Brandon Aubrey in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brandon Aubrey is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brandon Aubrey actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.