The Chip-and-Release Hex of Brenden Bates
Brenden Bates · JAX · TE
“Bates stays in to block all game. A bold use of a fantasy asset.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Kentucky's biggest rival.
- A mysterious flag erases Bates's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
92%POTENCY
-17.4PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single tear from a Panthers fan
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Bates drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bhayshul Tuten
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Parker Washington
- Brian Thomas Jr.
FAQ
How do I curse Brenden Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brenden Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brenden Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.