The Late Scratch Hex of Brenden Bates
Brenden Bates · JAX · TE
“Bates will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.
- Bates finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
91%POTENCY
-15.6PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A single tear from a Steelers fan
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Bates's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bhayshul Tuten
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Parker Washington
- Brian Thomas Jr.
FAQ
How do I curse Brenden Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brenden Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brenden Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.