The Phantom Flag Hex of Brenden Bates
Brenden Bates · JAX · TE
“Bates is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Kentucky's biggest rival.
- The broadcast shows Bates on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
72%POTENCY
-9.4PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Bates drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bhayshul Tuten
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Parker Washington
- Brian Thomas Jr.
FAQ
How do I curse Brenden Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brenden Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brenden Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.