The Chip-and-Release Hex of Brenden Bates
Brenden Bates · JAX · TE
“Bates is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Bates gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
73%POTENCY
-11PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Rams jersey, ironically worn
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A used challenge flag
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Bates drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bhayshul Tuten
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Parker Washington
- Brian Thomas Jr.
FAQ
How do I curse Brenden Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brenden Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brenden Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.