The Late Scratch Hex of Brenden Bates
Brenden Bates · JAX · TE
“Bates has his best game ever, but it is for the opposing fantasy manager in another league.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates lines up as a tackle on 61% of snaps. A beautiful new career for him.
- Bates sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
80%POTENCY
-12.8PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A single Lions jersey, ironically worn
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A single tear from a Vikings fan
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Bates drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bhayshul Tuten
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Parker Washington
- Brian Thomas Jr.
FAQ
How do I curse Brenden Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brenden Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brenden Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.