The Invisible Route Hex of Brenden Bates
Brenden Bates · JAX · TE
“Bates finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Ref: "Number Bates, that's a flag." Bates: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
- Bates will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.
83%POTENCY
-16.8PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Broncos locker room
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Bates's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bhayshul Tuten
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Parker Washington
- Brian Thomas Jr.
FAQ
How do I curse Brenden Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brenden Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brenden Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.