The Late Scratch Hex of Brenden Bates
Brenden Bates · JAX · TE
“Bates's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
- Bates runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.
80%POTENCY
-18.8PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A single tear from a Bears fan
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Bates's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bhayshul Tuten
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Parker Washington
- Brian Thomas Jr.
FAQ
How do I curse Brenden Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brenden Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brenden Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.