The Chip-and-Release Hex of Brenden Bates
Brenden Bates · JAX · TE
“Bates's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- A mysterious flag erases Bates's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- Bates is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.
73%POTENCY
-12.2PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
Bates, Bates, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bhayshul Tuten
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Parker Washington
- Brian Thomas Jr.
FAQ
How do I curse Brenden Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brenden Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brenden Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.