The Hamstring Hex of Brenden Bates
Brenden Bates · JAX · TE
“A mysterious flag erases Bates's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Bates's stadium. Only over Bates.
- Bates runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.
86%POTENCY
-15.2PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Bates, Bates, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bhayshul Tuten
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- Parker Washington
- Brian Thomas Jr.
FAQ
How do I curse Brenden Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brenden Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brenden Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.