The Wide Left Hex of Cairo Santos
Cairo Santos · CHI · K
“Santos gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Santos's week
- At 35, Santos is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Santos's stadium. Only over Santos.
88%POTENCY
-9.4PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
Eye of Rams, tongue of ref,
Bring Bears down to grief,
Santos scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Caleb Williams
- Colston Loveland
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Kyle Monangai
- Rome Odunze
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
FAQ
How do I curse Cairo Santos in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cairo Santos is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cairo Santos actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.