The Late Scratch Hex of Cairo Santos
Cairo Santos · CHI · K
“Santos will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Santos's week
- At 35, Santos is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
- Santos gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
79%POTENCY
-17.1PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Santos drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Caleb Williams
- Colston Loveland
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Kyle Monangai
- Rome Odunze
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
FAQ
How do I curse Cairo Santos in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cairo Santos is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cairo Santos actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.