The Shank Hex of Cairo Santos
Cairo Santos · CHI · K
“At 35, Santos is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Santos's week
- Santos gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
- Santos's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.
86%POTENCY
-11.6PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Santos, Santos, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Caleb Williams
- Colston Loveland
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Kyle Monangai
- Rome Odunze
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
FAQ
How do I curse Cairo Santos in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cairo Santos is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cairo Santos actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.