The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Cairo Santos
Cairo Santos · CHI · K
“Santos sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Santos's week
- At 35, Santos is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
- Santos warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.
80%POTENCY
-16.8PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A single tear from a Commanders fan
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
Eye of Ravens, tongue of ref,
Bring Bears down to grief,
Santos scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Caleb Williams
- Colston Loveland
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Kyle Monangai
- Rome Odunze
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
FAQ
How do I curse Cairo Santos in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cairo Santos is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cairo Santos actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.