The Shank Hex of Cairo Santos
Cairo Santos · CHI · K
“The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Santos is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Santos's week
- At 35, Santos is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
- Santos's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
83%POTENCY
-13.1PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Santos's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Caleb Williams
- Colston Loveland
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Kyle Monangai
- Rome Odunze
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
FAQ
How do I curse Cairo Santos in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cairo Santos is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cairo Santos actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.