The Wide Left Hex of Cairo Santos
Cairo Santos · CHI · K
“Santos hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Santos's week
- Santos will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
- At 35, Santos is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
88%POTENCY
-19.1PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Santos, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Caleb Williams
- Colston Loveland
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Kyle Monangai
- Rome Odunze
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
FAQ
How do I curse Cairo Santos in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cairo Santos is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cairo Santos actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.