The Late Scratch Hex of Cairo Santos
Cairo Santos · CHI · K
“At 35, Santos is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Santos's week
- Santos warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.
- The crowd chants "WIDE LEFT" for Santos. Santos does not ignore it. Neither does the ball.
91%POTENCY
-10.6PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
Incantation
Santos, Santos, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Caleb Williams
- Colston Loveland
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Kyle Monangai
- Rome Odunze
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
FAQ
How do I curse Cairo Santos in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cairo Santos is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cairo Santos actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.