The Upright Hex of Chad Ryland
Chad Ryland · ARI · K
“The crowd chants "WIDE LEFT" for Ryland. Ryland does not ignore it. Neither does the ball.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Ryland's week
- Ryland gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
- Ryland hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.
80%POTENCY
-12.5PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A single Eagles jersey, ironically worn
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Ryland drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Trey McBride
- Tyler Allgeier
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
- Harrison Butker
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Chad Ryland in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Chad Ryland is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Chad Ryland actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.