The Late Scratch Hex of Chad Ryland
Chad Ryland · ARI · K
“Ryland finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Ryland's week
- Ryland kicks a perfect ball into the end zone... and it is a kickoff. For the other team.
- Ryland gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
73%POTENCY
-9.4PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Steelers locker room
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Ryland's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Trey McBride
- Tyler Allgeier
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
- Harrison Mevis
- Harrison Butker
FAQ
How do I curse Chad Ryland in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Chad Ryland is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Chad Ryland actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.